Humans are social beings. Most of them choose companionship, or some sort of social group which we could call a "tribe". They receive and give support through interaction with other tribe members. Giving and receiving are two opposing forces. We usually give support to group members who are less / weaker than us and we receives support from group members who are better / stronger than we are.
Giving support gives you a good feeling, but receiving support actually helps you. There is nothing wrong with giving support, but in order to improve / grow, you need to receive support.
I am basing this piece of writing on the behavior of a client of mine, someone who has been struggling for a long time with weight problems. She seeks support on an internet forum for people with the same problem. In my eyes this is not really wise. These people are not stronger / better than her, they are actually all in the same boat, so the support she receives in not really help! Instead she regularly gets to hear how difficult it all is and keeps on receiving compliments for only very small positive steps. This way she keeps on hanging on to a weak behavior and the forum members offer no real help to change that, in fact, rather the opposite happens: she gets false signals pulling her further in the wrong direction.
To receive any actual help one needs to look for a group that is actually able to give any. In this case not a group of people that have the exact same problem with being overweight, but a group that has been able to stay healthy, even better, people that have suffered from similar problems in the past and have themselves under control now. There she can learn effectively, find inspiration and receive real support.
The gist of it is that if you really want to become better of drastically change something that is affecting you in a negative way, use your common sense, be honest to yourself and choose a group that can actually help you achieve that, not a group who will constantly confirm how difficult it all is and how bad it is that nobody understands that you can’t help yourself!
Alcohol problems cannot be solved in a cafe with your drinking pals, overweight does not go away at MacDonald’s, lack of movement won’t change in front of the TV!
Choose the right tribe!